"A man cannot rule a kingdom unless he is able to manage a province; and he cannot manage a province, unless he is able to manage a city; neither can he manage a city, if he cannot govern his family; and he cannot govern his family, unless he knows how to govern himself; and no man can govern himself unless he makes reason his guide, and submits his will and desires to it; and he cannot make reason his guide, unless his reason is ruled by God’s Word and wholly obedient to Him." Hugo Grotius (rephrased)
The command principle of this powerful quote is: If you are faithful in the little things, you can rule over much. If you are first able to govern yourself, then you will be able to effectively govern others.
This very important principle can be applied in two ways. First, when I successfully govern myself and my attitudes, I can more effectively guide my children. Selfishness is greatly tested in to two areas: marriage and parenting. My ability to lead is most hampered when I fail to conquer my own selfish desires. Are not the attitudes of my children often a reflection of my own? Because of this, I find myself having to learn many of the values I am trying to instill in my children. It is important to realize that the benefit of parenting is not only the growth and change that occurs in our children, but in our lives also.
This principle is also applied as a guide for teaching my children good stewardship. It is emphasized daily in one fashion or another. When children are young, it is important to teach them to be good managers of their emotions, their things and their time. Parents should never allow their children to manipulate them into doing their will; especially by some display of uncontrollable emotion. Children of all ages (1-100) can learn to wait patiently and ask for things in a courteous manner. When our children are not effectively controlling their emotions, we may require them to sit still, fold their hands and not speak. We teach our toddlers to "touch their lips" together; otherwise they may continue to cry out and make sounds.
In a favorite comic strip by Baby Blues, the Mom is reprimanding her children about leaving their toys scattered around the house and after many threats, stores what she finds in boxes in the closet only to return and find more toys scattered throughout. At this point, she approaches her husband and says, "What the heck was Santa Claus thinking?" The onset of summer means it is time to fight back the weeds (notice, I did not say grass) with our riding lawn mower. Inevitably, I will chop to pieces some of our children’s Christmas presents. I constantly remind the children that if they do not care for their toys, then they should not expect to get more toys. But, if they are good stewards with what they have then they can expect to be rewarded with more possessions. To own things is a privilege and every privilege is accompanied by a level of responsibility. I believe this is a vital concept to impart to children. If you spare children the consequences of poor stewardship, it will only prove to be a great disservice to them later in life. Currently, our two boys are down to three small bins of toys. On too many occasions, their room has had the look of World War III, which is not good when I have to walk in there in the middle of the night to get the baby. I think every aspiring young dad should be forced to run the "toy gauntlet" in order to prove he is ready for fatherhood. He should be blindfolded, barefoot and required to cross the length of the house while the floor is covered with Lego’s, Matchbox cars and all sorts of assorted toys with jagged edges. (Please visit the www.AthensNowOnline.com website for the Are You Ready for Parenthood? test.)
Our oldest daughter wants a horse and our four year old wants a pig. But if I am constantly reminding them to feed and water the one dog we have, why would I want to acquire additional animals? If the children are faithful to care for the animals we have, then they can be rewarded with more animals. I am happy to say that our eldest is doing very well at managing her current responsibilities and I have no doubt that she will someday soon have a horse.
The power of the principle is that it reinforces the authority of your word with moral understanding. For example, when I stop the children from jumping on the couch, I remind them that if we do not care for our possessions, it demonstrates we are not ready for more or nicer possessions. In this way, I am requiring obedience, yet at the same time, providing them with a moral reason why they are not at liberty to jump on the couch.
The lesson of good stewardship extends beyond a child’s own possessions - it also encompasses the household in which he lives, his community, his environment, etc. It is critical for him to learn the impact of his choices and actions on others. All family members should realize that preserving the family’s resources is a joint effort, with joint consequences or joint rewards. If we are diligent to train our children to be good stewards within the family, as adults they will be ready for the responsibility of managing their own homes and serving their communities.
Are You Ready for Parenthood? (Author unknown)
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery. Here are 11 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father.
1) Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag chair down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months, remove 10% of the beans. Men: to prepare for paternity, go to the local drugstore, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the last time.
2) Before you have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it - it’s the last time in your life that you will have all of the answers.
3) To discover how the nights feel, walk around the living room from 5pm till 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds. At 10pm put the bag down; set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12am and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1am. Put the alarm on for 3am. As you can’t go back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing songs in the dark till 4am. Put the alarm on for 6am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.
4) Can you stand the mess children make? To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. Hide a fish stick behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
5) Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems: first buy an octopus and a string bag. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6) Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a can of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.
7) Forget the BMW and buy the mini-van. And don’t think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size bag of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There! Perfect!
8) Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it again. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you’ve had as much as you can stand until all of the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
9) Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10) Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. A fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy.
11) Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Fruit Loops and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half of the Fruit Loops are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12 month old child.
Now, you are finally ready to be a parent!
