This week I heard about a young basketball player that was interviewed and he was asked, “What makes a great leader?” I am sure that the reporter asking the question had something in mind like--a leader shows up to practice before everyone and he is the last one to leave. Much to the reporter’s amazement the young basketball player gave him the best answer that he knew, and it amazed not only the reporter, but many others as well. The player’s answer was short and to the point. “A leader is the best listener.”

It is an interesting contrast; a young man speaking such wisdom during the week of the Presidential ‘State of The Union’ speech. The speech was simply a launching pad for others to express their thoughts. It is embarrassing for me to try and explain to my daughter that all of these people that we elect and all of these talk show hosts that we listen to and watch on radio and TV programs are somehow examples of leaders.

Today most people are trying to explain what happened in 2009, and hoping that with very little change on their part, that 2010 will bring greater results for them personally. I believe that is possible if people will change one of their personal behaviors. Become a better listener. This is a very active process. This is not a passive process. Listening with the intent to understand takes practice, patience, and energy. Today people are exposed to so much information that they become exhausted with simply processing all of the information that is flooding their minds. It takes an extra amount of energy to become a great listener.

Listening can be tiring, but it can also become energizing when you experience the positive results that it brings. At home, work, or play, becoming a better listener will help you help those around you. When you become a better listener you gain an understanding that the non-listener misses out on. When you are listening, people recognize that you are, and it empowers them to express themselves in a way that is unusual and freeing to them. When they experience this, they feel that you understand where they are coming from.

For years we had a saying on our refrigerator, “People don’t care, until they believe you care.” It is all about listening. My wife is one of the best listeners that I have ever met. She has taught me a lot, I have a lot to learn, but I can tell you that it is an awesome experience when you feel that someone understands.